You ever have a beer so dark, heavy, and chewy you’re convinced it came not from a brewery in a normal Florida town (Tallahassee, in this case), but from the depths of blackest Hades itself? That maybe the tap isn’t connected to a keg but has opened a wormhole into some sort of terrible land, like Black Mesa?
That’s how I felt when I opened my crowler of Creatures In The Dark (Stout, 8% ABV, 45 IBU) from Proof Brewing. Fear. Abject fear.
I didn’t think I should be concerned. It has raw coca nibs and whole vanilla beans in the brewing process, and those are delicious. It won a gold medal from the Best Florida Beer championship in 2014, and they’re good as well. There’s nothing to be concerned about this beer. Right?
Instead, it’s a lot like Silent Hill when you’re wandering around the town and everything’s fine but then you hear the siren and everything gets all dark and scary and you’re suddenly running for your life from someone’s idea of a geometry class gone horribly wrong and you don’t know where to go because everything’s dark and you can’t turn on a flashlight or else those creey nurses and demon dogs and Bruins fans will come and get you.
It’s really heavy. Just insane amounts of deep, bold roasted malts dripping with molasses and espresso notes. The raw coca nibs are right at home swimming in all of that full bodied brew. There’s a touch of vanilla in there, but to be honest, a lot of it is lost in a chewy, insanely heady stout that is so overladen with bold, brassy notes that you really wouldn’t want too much else.
It’s scary, it’s heady, and there’s a reason why this oil-looking malt bomb got a gold medal. It is most definitely better suited for a spooky, chilly fall evening when the power’s out and you find yourself alone in a log cabin with a door that may or may not be leading to a serial killer in the basement. And if there is, you can give them a pint.
Or throw the crowler at them. I don’t know, I don’t play those sorts of games.
Drink Florida Craft,